Jeff Lee Facts
Alas, I’ve been pretty lazy with my blog as well as keeping in touch with my friends. But happy birthday to you Jeff (albeit two days late) As a tribute, I will be re-posting the Jeff Lee Facts:
Jeff rode a camel through an eye of a needle. Why? Just cuz….
Jeff is a fan of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers because he believes “first is last and last is first”
When you ask Jeff for a fish, he will give you a serpent. When you ask him for an egg, he will give you a scorpion.
Jeff only reads the Song of Songs with parental supervision.
One time when Jeff went over Mary and Martha’s crib, he slapped Mary and told her to help Martha prepare dinner.
Jeff has never harvested grain or burned chaff on the Sabbath.
Jeffgu once fed five thousand with 2 tortillas and three pieces of a hot dog. Needless to say, they were still very hungry.
Jeff is allowed to take the log out of your eye.
Jeff’s favorite book of the Bible? Romans? John? No….Leviticus…….the KJV version in Hebrew.
Jeff Lee read one time that the Word needed to be inside of him. So, he ate a whole bible. Actually two, an NIV when he was young and an ESV to be theologically saavy.
The only person Jeff has ever gotten angry at is at me. This is known as “righteous anger”
Jeff will never eat deviled eggs or devil’s food cake.
At picnics and barbeques, he is allowed to heap burning coals on anyone who makes fun of him.
The actual demise of Delilah happened when she asked Jeff about his weakness. He said if she cut his hair he would lose all his strength. After she cut his hair, he slayed her with the jawbone of a donkey.
In the story of the adulterer, Jeff actually was looking for a big stone.
Jeff measures his income in shekels and drachmas.
Originally the mustard seed parable was supposed to be about Jeff, but then it was realized faith the size of Noah’s ark would be discouraging.
Jeff in his only guest appearance on the Simpsons, beat Ned Flanders in Bible Trivial Pursuit.
Jeff has successfully placed new wine in old wineskins without them bursting.
Jeff is allowed to cook a goat in its mother’s milk.
Jeff has followed every law written in the book of Leviticus.
If a guy ever touches a cloth on Jeff’s body, that guy can be immune in liking women. Jeff during that very very brief moment finds the female form attractive.
Jeff once overturned all the tables at church when they had a bake sale, calling it a den of robbers. The only thing the church now sells are ESV bibles with commentary by RC Sproul.
Jeff’s farts smell like myrhh and morning breath smell like frankincense.
When one punches Jeff in the cheek, they are lawfully required to punch the other cheek. Otherwise they get the death penalty.
Pork went from unclean to clean when Jeff decided bacon tasted pretty good.
When Jeff broke a string on a guitar while leading praise at the end of the song, he simply prayed and it fearfully unbroke itself.
Spelling
J
LEE
F
F
in scrabble gets you 100,000 points, plus 50 more if you use all 7 letters in your rack.
Jeff Lee does not actually read the Bible, he soaks it in through his pores.
When Jeff Lee accidentally stepped into a confession booth, the priest started confessing to him.
Jeff Lee once thought he forgot to do a Quiet time until he realized he read his Bible and prayed for pleasure in the afternoon.
Formula for American Superhero!
1) Take some random american dude
PLUS
2) Inject him with super-serum in a lab…
=
VOILA!!! AMERICAN HERO!!!
CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!!!!
Hrmm…..I think I missed something here…..
Adam the Analyst: Episode 6: What is your ideal working environment?
Check out my latest on WSO:
What is your ideal working environment?
I know a lot of you had enjoyed my videos, a few went pretty far and made their rounds across Wall Street. Some of you may not know that I also like to sponsor and work with a charity called New City Kids in Jersey City. It is a great after-school program that keeps underprivileged and at-risk kids off the streets by offering a whole sort of activities (music, sports, art) and helping these children with their homework. What is awesome about this program is they also train these kids to be leaders. When they first come in they are instructed by an older mentor, but as to continue to stay they become teachers to those younger or more inexperienced in whatever activity they are involved in.
The last time I visited, one of the kids was being sent off to college after many years at the program. Apparently, when he first started he never even touched an instrument before, but when I saw him he was teaching younger students how to play guitar and drums. It was incredible how fast these kids can pick up things with the right kind of support and how a program like this can steer kids towards college instead of drugs. Of course, a program like this can only exist with adequate support.
I’ve talked to Patrick already and he’s pledged to make a substantial donation for each of the videos I made for WSO. For those who really found my videos entertaining or enjoyable (or even if you didn’t!), I ask that you make a small donation to this charity to help them continue and grow their efforts. I know bonuses have been rough for some of you so I understand if you can’t, but any amount will definitely go a long way. As much as I hate my passive-aggressive MD, I am still quite grateful that I have a job like this and for the opportunities I have gotten. If you want to see more check it out here. http://www.newcitykids.com/about.html
Please Donate: http://www.newcitykids.com/donate.html
Thanks guys,
“Adam the analyst”
I might have to break…
and get an IPhone:
It’s time to end this struggle which has cost millions of innocent people, the ability to concentrate on their work!
Ahh Valentine’s Day
Interesting post by my buddy Jae, on being vulnerable check it out here.
Then again, I don’t know much about love. I am still quite young but I certainly don’t think its a commercialized package of hallmark crap that we see so often. Still, as much as I’d like to pretend I am something special, I am certainly no Don Juan.
This one time on the subway when I saw this lady giggling and pointing. At first I thought it was cuz of my Kindle, haha me and my technology all slick and suave. But alas that didn’t seem to be the case when she kept on looking and whispering to her cute friend. Aha! She thinks I am an attractive young man, how exciting! I did not know I could exude such charm…..Nope…she finally made eye contact laughed and then pointed to my pants. Huh? Whoa lady easy there, I am not like…..(looking down)
Ahhh yes….my fly was open. Awesome…nope I’m not as cool as I thought.
But I digress, if only just to jab at my misadventures. Like I said, I dunno much about love, however I think it would start in an apartment building, a senior center to be more exact. No, its not a nice beach, or a romantic bridge, or two escalators, one going up, one going down, where right when the girl is about to see the guy he ties his shoe so that she can’t catch his eye but then they eventually fall in love in a convoluted and overwrought KBS drama. Nope it was a senior center, a one bedroom apartment, cozy but nothing fancy.
You see, I would visit there 1 or 2 times a month after church with my mom to see her parents. My grandpa was a jolly fellow, always smiling and he had sort of a big, goober bear, kind of belly. For me, visiting was a chore, because much like now, I was a petulant and spoiled little child. They didn’t have cable, always watched Korean TV and didn’t have anything exciting to play with. My mom would always go to make sure they were ok, cleaning stuff, bringing fruit and chastising my grandpa when he forgot to fly his zipper or tuck in his shirt. (I suppose the absentmindedness is genetic)
My grandma, at this time was in a wheelchair, confined mostly there due to a stroke. One side of her body was essentially paralyzed and as such, she had difficulty moving. She was always happy to see me for some reason, even if it meant watching me take the remote from her, change the channel from a Korean one to basketball or something and watch me watch TV. (I was young, I apologize) But its strange, because I think its places like these where you can really see what love is.
You see, I tell myself I understand the biblical perspective of love. The idea that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Except I really don’t. But I know my grandpa tried his best to emulate that idea. While I could wax philosophical about how women are to be respected etc. (perhaps a utilitarian way to win brownie points with the ladies), my grandfather lived it. Its actually quite the pronouncement, a Herculean task if you will. But, I think my grandpa did his best to love her in the way Christ loved the church, not in some contrived way. But he loved her, not in words but in his daily action.
1) The love is not circumstantial, based on fleeting passions. This calling of love means to love someone, even when it seems like there’s nothing to love anymore. Nowadays, it seems as though there’s always a quid pro quo to relationships, a “what have you done for me lately” sort of attitude that prevails. Alas, when we say Christ loved the church, we are also saying that he loved people who were in many ways “unlovable”, with flaws and imperfections too numerous to count. I am not loved because of my smarts, because I’ve done something special or because I am handsome. No, I am loved DESPITE my selfishness, my envy and all of the mistakes I made You see, the Christian view tells me I am so unlovable, yet Christ still loved me. (Romans 5:8)
My grandparents (if you didn’t catch this by assumption) were old. Objectively, there was nothing “sexy” about my grandmother. Being confined to a wheelchair and being unable to move well on her own, meant my grandfather had to help her out of bed or when she needed to use the bathroom. He had to make sure to prepare her food everyday and also wheel her outside so she could get fresh air and see flowers bloom. There was no makeup on her face to hide her blemishes, she wasn’t really able to do much around the house and she needed his every attention. If my grandfather wanted to do something, he would have to consider leaving her home. It wasn’t like he could just go off and do his thing. Some might have found this too burdensome or arduous to handle. Really, what was there for him to “love”? But for some reason he never found this a task too great.
I never saw him frustrated over his daily tasks. The fact that everything he did, he had to do for her also meant less time he had for himself. Yet, this didn’t matter. He always smiled and sometimes called my grandma his princess. Yet this princess had no tiara or dress on her. He would hold her curled up hand and help comb her thinning hair, help her sit up on her wheelchair when she slouched. Whatever semblance of youthful beauty was long gone, but in some ways I felt my grandmother was perfectly content. She didn’t need to prove anything to him or to anyone else, she had the proper attention and sufficient affection from the person who meant most to her.
2) One big principle that men should remember is that Christ also died for the church. I suppose we could all walk in front of a car and call it even but this is probably not quite what this verse meant. But indeed, my grandfather didn’t heroically dive in front of a car to save my grandmother or anything like that. No, one morning, he suffered a massive stroke and he had to be hospitalized.
My grandmother those next few days was crying out for her husband and unfortunately, he passed away a few days after his stroke. Everything he did, he also considered my grandmother and to the end he stayed with her. His death was the only way they would be separated. Caring for my grandma was an enormous responsibility yet my grandpa was up to task. In many ways he died for my grandma. Any greatness he wanted to realize now had to stay within the context of his spouse. He died to his passions, many of them long gone after her stroke. He died to any last ambitions, unless it involved taking care of her. He died to his pride, doing every house chore, helping to clean her and feed her, finding little time for his own leisure. He died to himself, knowing that its not just his life to live but living as if they were one flesh. And this was enough. Carrying his wife’s burdens yet loving her the same.
My grandfather was a faithful man. I speak of a Jesus I know, but I think he really knew this Jesus.
Valentine’s day probably brings out certain desires and wants in all of us, but I hope though we all really look for love. I don’t think love is Feb. 14th. I think love is everyday and not even death can do them part.
1 John 3:18
David Brooks is wrong: Amy Chua is a wimp (cuz she doesn’t beat her kids)
My white friend posted this David Brooks column on his gchat, probably all gleeful that somebody thinks Amy Chua’s Tiger Mom method doesn’t work. Well it does! Look at me! I…err…um write a blog. Anyways, my two readers I found our ensuing conversation amusing.
me: ahh u soft white man
amy chua is a wimp because she doesn’t beat her kids
white friend: hahaha
me: that is all my melanin-deprived brother
white friend: there was this girl in high school who probably had an amy chua like mom
i enjoyed beating her on math tests
me: ahh u bastard
white friend: you could see the look in her eyes — “it can’t be! he’s white!”
“he doesn’t even play a string instrument!”
me: performance enhancing drugs or something man
there’s no way to beat the asian method of kumon and beatdowns
it’ll all come out soon enough, mr. armstrong
white friend: haha
me: you’ll be crying on the podium, returning your mathletes jersey and science league trophies
the worst part about this is
that girl is probably now your girlfriend
while I continue to live the lie of a life that is known as World of Warcraft
Beat your kids!
No matter how hardcore she pretends to be Amy Chua actually does not subscribe to that philosophy, check it (hat tip, Neil Shenai): Why Chinese Mothers are Superior. My parents would probably call her soft.
But I am sure there are plenty of immigrants kids who have experienced their share of punishment not of the “go to your room (with an xbox, tv and computer” philosophy and instead go the “I am holding a broom that I will hit you with if you do not continue practicing your violin” route. Overall, I agree that one of the biggest problems is a lack of discipline. The sheer amount of disrespect I saw towards teachers was startling (If you don’t give me an A, I don’t care, my dad is a lawyer and he will make sure you get fired). I don’t think this freedom made them particularly clever or witty, but just confirmed they were insufferable and entitled pricks.
I think one thing that bothers me about Chua’s article though is her perspective in writing it as a current mother. Perhaps her perspective would have been better if she wrote about her own experiences more in the vein of “I was raised in this strict style which was difficult to go through at the time but turned out well as I thoroughly enjoying the fruits (Yale Law school professorship etc.) from the foundation my parents set forth.” Instead, it seems as though she seems to wear it as a badge of honor. I am fan of gratuitous and random beatdowns as much as the next guy, but I dunno if I was her kid, I would be a bit annoyed that my mom is parading around telling everyone she calls her kids garbage.
It reminds me of a time when I went on a trip with my buddies. Four of us ( children of Korean, Egyptian, Indian and Bangledeshian? parents) versus four white guys. We played what we called the “binary thumbs up/down game”, simple question must be answered with a thumbs up or down. No soft maybes, no it depends. We got to the question, “Beating your kids good or bad?” The white kids of course all vehemently opposed what they perceived as “child abuse”. The immigrants kids talked about their own battle stories about, how a random smack across the head was par for the course. The horror of our more fair-skinned peers was certainly entertaining.
I kind of disagree though about the formulaic process Asian parents instill in their kids lives. Granted, culturally it makes sense as I know my parents pretty much gave up everything to start anew here thus following a straightforward gameplan (hard work, stringed instruments and SAT) made sense. Still, I think one can be sufficiently disciplinary without being overly controlling.
I wrote about this before: Game Theory, Koreans and Hagwon. Read it if you can, but perhaps some of the passivity and lack of gumption stereotypically attributed to Asians could possibly be traced to the way we are raised. Following a formula for academic success will certainly make you a good intern, analyst, associate etc. but does it help you become a partner, managing director or CEO?
Thoughts?
Google, you never fail to amaze me
My 2 readers, I apologize for the lack of updates….alas work has increased and thus I have turned back to blogging to divert my attention….
(Thanks to Jon Han for help with the art)
This is incredible, seriously if I had this at work, I probably would still be employed right now. Countless times when I rush through things, I would write up a nice little e-mail and totally forget to attach the 7865th iteration of a pitchbook that nobody reads.
Try it, type in “Attached is” in your e-mail but don’t attach anything. Google will kindly remind you that you are being absent-minded and silly!
So I ask, “What is Google going to come up with next?”
I’ve got a few answers here of my own….
I could definitely see it become useful when you do the ole carbon copy the guy you are totally ragging on….
Or if Google knows you are probably not being the smartest boyfriend….
I think it’d be good if it also cut out some of the more annoying types of e-mails:
Or how about those e-mail signatures, yes we know your mother is proud that you went to an Ivy-League institution:
How about your buddies who are in finance who feign intelligence with incoherent meaningless phrases
Sometimes, Google just needs to be paternalistic and tell it to you straight-up
I have a feeling this is going to be what Google tells me (and a few friends?) in a few years:
Lol, Channing Crowder
Remember ladies and gentleman, if the refs aren’t calling the game far make sure you remind them that you think they are:
1) Blind
2) Little Jewish girls hiding in an attic from Nazi persecution while writing a diary about their thoughts.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5777860
“I just got told not to talk about it, so I can’t talk about it,” Crowder replied when first asked about his wild skirmish with McClain in the third quarter. Then he proceeded a beat later anyway. “But Le’Ron McClain spit in my face. He spit in my face. That’s some real s—. So if you talk to him, tell him he’s a ho. And if he ever comes to Miami, he’s got to see me.”
Crowder said when he complained to the officials, they told him they didn’t see McClain spit at him.
“Then they said something about they let [Dolphins linebacker] Karlos Dansby get away with a facemask the play before,” Crowder said. “Who the f— cares? A guy just spit in my face! I don’t give a damn about Karlos pulling somebody’s facemask. Like they didn’t see [Dolphins quarterback] Chad Henne get hit twice when he slid. Yeah, a little Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank.”
Asked what the Anne Frank reference meant, Crowder said “Who was that? Is that the blind girl? Helen Keller … I don’t know who the f— Anne Frank is. I’m mad right now. F— it. I’m not as swift as I usually am.
Conspicuous Cynic Youtube Page
Mr. Mcdoof has finally gotten off his lazy butt and put the videos on youtube.
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/user/conspicuouscynic
Share this blog
